Believing is Seeing

Sunday, April 26th started out no different than any other Sunday. We did some work around the house and were generally having a lazy Sunday. Later in the day Jeremy decided to take the boys hiking across the street. I chose to stay home and use the quiet time to get in some meditation.

After the boys left, I set myself up comfortably in my wheelchair and started meditating on my Vision Board app on my phone. For those who are unaware, a vision board is a collage of images, pictures and affirmations of one’s dreams and desires, designed to serve as a source of inspiration and motivation and to use the law of attraction to attain goals. As I was meditating on my vision board this day, my eyes drifted shut and I was overcome by an INTENSE feeling of love, joy and acceptance. It felt like my heart was going to explode (in a good way!). It was the best feeling I have ever experienced IN MY LIFE! As I was experiencing this feeling, I also heard a “voice” telling me to throw all of my medicine away because I was healed. I am not one for theatrics. I was not asleep, but I was no longer aware of anything but this overwhelming feeling of love and joy and that I was no longer alone. I was in the presence of God, the Creator, the Divine Source. Dr. Joe calls it “an intelligent love or a loving intelligence”. I will not try to put a name to it other than the source of all things. I felt connected to the world. There was no judgement, no rules, just acceptance and peace. I was laughing and crying because I knew that I was going to be alright.

I came out of that meditation ecstatic. I was still laughing and crying. Was I able to immediately get out of my wheelchair and start walking? NO. But I knew/know that it WILL happen! When Jeremy and the boys got home, I told them the whole story. I’d like to say that they were ecstatic and had unwavering faith in my story also, but understandably it was a shock and hard for them to believe without seeing any evidence. They could tell that I had experienced something monumental from my behavior and they were happy I had found peace.

The next morning I woke up and as usual opened the medicine drawer of my vanity. At this time, I was taking 14 pills throughout the course of the day for MS, depression, muscle relaxants and ulcers. I proceeded to throw ALL the bottles in the trash. I knew that if I didn’t follow the instructions I had been given, I would be doubting what I was told and my healing would be out of reach. I had complete faith that it was the right thing to do. I felt no fear about it. I want to be VERY clear again that I am not giving medical advice or telling anyone to go throw their medicine away. I was merely following the directions that I needed to follow to heal myself.

Before this blog, I have told only my closest friends and family about my conversation with the Creator because honestly I didn’t want people to think I have lost my mind. However, I was told during the epiphany to share my story. I laughed at the time and said, “You know how I feel about talking in front of people!”

“You won’t have to,” was the response.

At the time I assumed that God would be doing the talking through me. Now I know that I am following the instructions given to me by sharing my story here. It has been healing to write about my path and I truly hope that other people who are out there struggling can read my story and know that there is always hope. I can’t tell you how long our conversation lasted or what the source of all things sounds like, but I have NEVER been more sure of anything in my whole life-I am finally on the right path!!!!

It has been 4 months to the day since what we call my “epiphany”. I have meditated everyday but three since then and I know that I will practice meditation for the rest of my life. My body and mind need that time of complete silence and rest to become whole and “connected”. I cannot wait until I walk again and share my story with even more people-THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!!!

Meditations