Sometimes, when I meditate, I am inspired by random words or phrases. One time, “choose your own adventure” came up. I knew what it meant because Dr. Joe talks about creating the future you want and then letting it go. It sounds so easy and magnificent to be able to write my own future. However, I have had some problems visualizing what exactly it is that I want. Complete healing and walking normally again are my two major manifestations, but I just haven’t been able to visualize or feel what that will be like. I can’t remember what walking normally or feeling healthy is like. In the past, I have manifested my dreams by writing them down. There are two specific times that are memorable to me. I didn’t write with the intention of creating my future either time. Rather, both times I was asked to write about my future for school and my writings came true without me thinking anymore about them.
About 17 years ago, Jeremy’s best friend was living with a guy who I had gone to school with since elementary school. He had kept a book of stories that we had all written in our second grade class about what we pictured our lives in the future would be. He let our friend read my story and it was amazing and uncanny how some of the things I wrote about at 7 or 8 had come true 20 years later! I never saw or read the story, but they told me I wrote about living on top of a hill with golden retrievers among other things. I never had golden retrievers growing up, and as I got older huskies and malamutes became my favorite dogs. However, when our friend told us about this story, we were living on a hill in Brown County with 2 golden retrievers!! I had no recollection of writing anything like that, yet my vision of my future came true with no conscious effort on my part.
Another time, my Spanish teacher my senior year of high school asked us to write a paper about where we saw ourselves in 5 years. Jeremy and I were dating at the time. I wrote about graduating from IU and marrying Jeremy. My teacher pulled me aside after grading it and told me I was awfully young to be planning my wedding to someone I was dating in high school. 5 years later, I was graduated from IU and married to Jeremy. We didn’t stay together the entire five years. In fact, halfway through my freshman year at IU, we broke up. I didn’t speak to him for an entire year and couldn’t stand to see or hear about him! Yet, fate/God brought us back together randomly after a year and we did end up married! In other words, it didn’t happen the way I envisioned it that day in high school, but it still manifested in my reality.
Since I haven’t been able to envision what a future free of MS and being able to move freely feels like, I’ve decided to write about it to bring about the positive feeling vibrations and create my new future. Where do I see myself in 1 year, hopefully sooner?
I am so excited! Today is the day I have been looking forward to for 10+ years! Today I get to hike with my family! I wake up feeling amazing! I feel loose, limber and strong. After taking care of my morning routine, I decide to do some stretches before we hike. It has been a long time, and I love the feel of my new legs and muscles. I feel so strong. My stretches feel amazing. After stretching, I jump up, jog down the stairs and put on my hiking boots. I’ve kept these boots for 10 years never giving up hope that this day would come. After putting on my shoes, I check on Jeremy and the boys. It is so nice to be able to walk around the house without assistance and check on everybody else instead of needing constant help. I love feeling like an equal participant in life. When we are all ready, I can’t contain my excitement. I’m giddy and my body feels so good again – thank God!! We walk out behind the house and start our hike back to Bond Cemetery. I did this hike one time with the boys when we first moved into our house in 2012. At the time, I was using walking sticks, but I was able to make it all the way. Today I am so excited to do it without ANY aids!! The dogs are excited to be involved in this day as well. I see a beautiful leaf as we begin our hike – a good omen. I bend over and pick it up with absolutely no pain in my SI joint. I bend over a few more times, laughing, just because I can. I skip ahead on the trail and turn around smiling at my beautiful family as I walk backwards flawlessly. Now I’m just showing off my newfound skills. We hike back to a large, beautiful tree I remember from 8 years ago. It has low hanging limbs and we climb up on one to rest and enjoy the beautiful day. I cannot stop smiling/laughing! I have been waiting on this day for years! I want to soak it all in and do ALL the things!
After our long hike, my legs feel amazingly tired and sore, but in a great way. I haven’t felt this feeling in sooo long. I run upstairs to shower and change. Even showering normally feels so good. I stand under the water and take my first normal shower for a year. I feel balanced and strong. After showering, I get ready. I walk across the floor to my dresser and pick out my clothes for the day. It has been a few years since I have done this. For the past few years, Jeremy has laid my clothes out for me everyday.
We are going for a walk around Bloomington now. I want to get as much use out of my new legs as possible. I will never take walking for granted again. On our drive into town, I make Jeremy stop for gas even though we don’t really need it. Again, I feel like a child getting to experience all of these normal things for the first time. I haven’t pumped my own gas for a few years either. I run into the station to get drinks and snacks for the day while everyone waits for me in the car.
We walk around the IU campus and take pictures of me and my family standing everywhere. I want to remember this day forever and will never take my health for granted again! I love this new life! I love God and I love what meditation has brought into my life!! Now that I have manifested healing in my own life, I cannot wait to help others out of their suffering. I achieved what everyone thought was impossible without medicine, special diets, etc. By spending an hour a day getting in touch with my source and believing in my healing, I was able to heal my MS and live a “normal” life.