I Love ME!

On this Valentine’s Day, I feel it is important that I give love to myself. I have spent my life trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I have tried to be a good daughter, a good friend, a good student, a good wife, a good mother, a good employee, and so on and so on. I didn’t take the time to think about who I really am without those titles. There have been many instances in my life where I hated who I was. I never felt good enough. I’m sure that there were times when other people made me feel that way, but for the most part, it was my inner dialogue that was very hateful. I was constantly comparing myself to the people around me who I thought “had it all.” I’m not sure how I decided who had it all, but there was always some standard I felt I HAD to achieve.

It has been very easy to hate my body and who I perceive myself to be, or not be, since my diagnosis of MS. Now, that I have lost most of what I thought made me, me – a hiker, a piano player, a teacher, etc., I have to figure out who I am on the inside. This has been a very scary, but very enlightening process. It has only taken 44 years and a life-changing diagnosis, but I finally am discovering what true self love is. When I feel God’s love, it is unconditional. That is the same love I must give myself. When I’m meditating and allow that unconditional love, it physically feels like my heart is going to explode – but in an amazing way! Self love is not a selfish love. When I feel that complete, unconditional love for myself, I only want to share that with other people.

There have been several times in my life where people have told me that I need to be more confident, need to care less about what other people think and need to know my own worth. And honestly, I didn’t realize how little I really thought of myself. I am finally realizing I am perfect just the way I am! So are you!! If we just allow ourselves to feel and act and be exactly the way WE feel we are rather than what everyone else needs and sees in us. I have spent so much of my life trying to make everyone around me like me before even thinking about how I felt about myself, I want to be happy. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks – including you! Sorry, not sorry. If I do what I love and what makes me happy, I will be better for everyone around me. I LOVE who I am! I am generally a happy person. I love reading, I love crafts, I love music, I love my family and friends unconditionally! I DO love this life I have the pleasure of living! I want everyone to realize the power that is in them also! I want to live my purpose Today for the first time that I can remember, I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. As long as I am living my authentic life and having fun, I will be just fine. I lost ME among the mix somewhere, but I’m coming back and I am not going to keep myself little anymore!!!

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