From Guilt to Gratitude: Raising My Vibration for Healing

A vibration is a state of being—an atmosphere or energetic quality that exists in a person, place, thought, or thing. Emotions resonate with the vibrational frequency they generate. In order to fully heal through meditation, I’ve learned that I need to “vibrate at a higher frequency.” That means staying in a positive emotional state, because like attracts like.

For the past five-plus years, I was unknowingly vibrating at a very low frequency. I wasn’t fully aware of how much my negative thoughts and emotions were affecting me physically. I also didn’t have the tools to shift out of that state. The emotions I felt most often—and still struggle with at times—are guilt, fear, and anger.

These emotions are normal, and I’m not suggesting they should be ignored or suppressed. But before I began meditating, I often got stuck in them. I dwelled in negativity, especially while dealing with the daily challenges of MS. Now, it’s time for me to acknowledge those feelings honestly—and then flip the narrative. Because in order to raise my vibration and encourage healing in my body, I have to change the emotional story I’m telling myself.

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Releasing Guilt

Guilt implies that we’ve done something wrong, something we could have prevented. Unfortunately, I’ve spent the past few years carrying a heavy load of guilt. I’ve felt guilty that I can’t contribute more to my family, my work, or my friends. I’ve felt like a sponge—absorbing everyone’s help and kindness, yet unable to reciprocate the way I want.

I find myself constantly saying, “I’m sorry.” Sorry for taking up people’s time. Sorry for needing so much help. Sorry I can’t do more. But when we say “sorry,” we imply there was ill intent. And it’s time for me to absolve myself of that idea.

I didn’t ask for this disease. I didn’t cause it. But after my diagnosis, and through the progression of my MS, I internalized guilt and focused on how my condition affected everyone else. Those thoughts helped shape the reality I’m in now. The beautiful part is—if my thoughts helped create it, my thoughts can help change it.

The opposite of guilt is innocence. And I am innocent. I’m ready to accept my get-out-of-jail-free card and let go of the emotional and physical chains that guilt has wrapped around me. It’s time to embrace my innocence—and my future healing.

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Confronting Fear

Fear is another emotion I’ve carried since my diagnosis. Yes, none of us can predict the future—but with MS, the medical literature and expert opinions often focus on worst-case scenarios. I began picturing my future self as blind, in a wheelchair, completely dependent.

One moment especially stuck with me: A nurse once told me over the phone that I had a lesion on my spine, “which is troubling because that can cause the most disability.” That sentence lodged itself in my brain and took root.

More recently, my fear has shifted to something very real and immediate: the fear of being stuck. My legs are so weak that I can’t stand up from low chairs, toilets, or the ground without help. I’ve found myself trapped, more than once, waiting for hours until someone could come and assist me. Over time, fear became my default state.

But the opposite of fear is courage. And I am learning to live in courage. I face these fears head-on every day. I haven’t encountered a challenge yet that I couldn’t overcome—sometimes with help, sometimes on my own. I trust that I’ll continue to meet future obstacles with strength, supported by my meditation practice, my connection to source, and the incredible people around me.

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Transmuting Anger into Gratitude

Of all the emotions I’ve battled, anger has been the hardest. I don’t like feeling angry—because for me, it feels like giving up. I get angry at my body for not working “normally.” I get mad when I drop things and can’t bend down easily to pick them up. I feel rage at the loss of control, the extra effort required for every simple task. I’m angry that I have MS.

But I’ve realized that for me, the opposite of anger is thankfulness.

With Thanksgiving approaching, it feels like the perfect time to shift into gratitude. Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “Gratitude is the ultimate state of receivership. Gratitude means the event has already occurred.” Gratitude is one of the highest vibrational emotions—and I have so much to be grateful for, even with MS.

I’m thankful for the unconditional love and support of my friends and family.
I’m thankful for living in a beautiful, healing environment that connects me to nature.
I’m thankful for discovering meditation, the law of attraction, and my belief in miracles.
And most of all, I’m thankful for the vision of my future—I will walk again. And I will help others do the same.

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Final Thoughts

I’ve come to understand that my healing isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, spiritual, and energetic. Every time I move out of guilt, fear, or anger—and into innocence, courage, and gratitude—I raise my vibration. And when I raise my vibration, I align myself with healing.

This work is ongoing. It’s not always easy. But I know I’m on the right path.

I believe in my body’s ability to heal.
I believe in miracles.
And I believe that gratitude is the key that unlocks the door.

Trust, Control, and the Art of Letting Go