The phrase “let it go” has come up a lot throughout this wild, transformative journey. That simple statement can mean so many different things to different people. For me—like Elsa in Frozen—I’ve reached a point where I can’t hold it back anymore. If I want to truly heal, I have to let some things go.
Letting Go of Religion
One of the first things I had to release was my religious upbringing. I was born and raised in a Christian household, where church was a fixture every Sunday—and often on Wednesday nights too. As a child, I loved going to Sunday school. I never questioned my faith.
At 13, I was baptized and committed my life to God. I still remember the overwhelming love I felt when I walked forward at church camp to dedicate myself. That was the first time I truly felt my source. It felt right.
But as I grew older, I started questioning everything. We attended a Southern Baptist church with a rigid rulebook that always left me feeling like I didn’t measure up. I couldn’t live the “righteous life” that the church prescribed. In the back of my mind, I constantly wondered if I was ever going to be “good enough”—and who even got to define what “good enough” meant?
After moving out of my parents’ house, I became what we lovingly call a ChrEaster—someone who goes to church on Christmas and Easter. I still believed in God, but the church no longer represented what I felt God intended.
The moments I had truly felt God were always rooted in unconditional love—not in appearance, denomination, or perfection. Those expectations weren’t from God; they were for show. I knew God didn’t care how I found my way back—I just had to find it.
And even though I wasn’t actively searching, my source kept sending me signs.
A New Understanding
After a recent healing epiphany, I found myself immediately Googling “Dr. Joe Dispenza’s thoughts on God.” Surprisingly, there was no direct mention of God in his online workshop—but I stumbled upon a book called God on Your Own: Finding God Outside of Religion by Joseph Dispenza.
I assumed it was Dr. Joe, so I downloaded it on Kindle. Within two days, I had devoured the book and filled two pages of notes. I was in a manic state, trying to process what was happening to me—trying to come to terms with my healing while simultaneously letting go of all the old stories I’d internalized about God.
It felt like being reborn in a deeply spiritual sense. My spirit was renewed. My vision—literal and metaphorical—was shifting. And now, it’s my responsibility to keep my path lit by staying connected to my source through meditation.
The Roller Coaster of Healing
It’s been four months since that spiritual awakening. I wish I could say it’s been smooth sailing and that each day has been easier than the last. But the truth is—it’s been an emotional roller coaster.
The first two days after my epiphany, I was flying high. I felt unstoppable. I was excited about my future and eager to understand the voice in my head. I knew I wasn’t losing my mind—but I had never experienced anything like this before, and I needed answers.
Then the “honeymoon” phase faded. Mentally, I still felt positive, but physically, there weren’t many changes. I threw myself into meditation, desperately seeking another sign, another message, another push toward healing.
Some days, I had incredible meditative experiences. But I’d come out of them frustrated when I didn’t see immediate progress. I was trying to force healing to happen on my timeline.
Letting Go in Meditation
Another big area where I’ve had to let go is in my meditation practice. Dr. Joe talks about creating a vision for your life, then letting it go—so a higher power can align things in the way that’s best for you.
I know I’m healing. My source told me so, and I’ve already seen beautiful shifts in my life. But through meditation, reading, and deep reflection, I’m learning a profound truth: I won’t heal completely until I step aside and let God work through me.
That’s been one of the hardest lessons—letting go of my ego and allowing my source to do what it does best. When I get frustrated or angry because things aren’t happening the way I think they should, I block my own progress. I slow down my healing.
I need to let go—and let God.
What I Know Now
Through this process of surrender, I’ve learned so much. Here’s what I know for sure:
There is a creator, a source of all things, that lives within every living being. This source is in all of us. It loves us unconditionally and wants us to have everything we truly need.
It doesn’t matter how you connect to it—whether it’s through religion, nature, music, meditation, or stillness. Once you feel that connection, you won’t want to let it go. It’s too powerful, too beautiful, too true.
This connection hasn’t come from a religion, a book, or a preacher. It’s come from inside—from the quiet, inner voice that speaks when I clear away the noise. And trust me, there’s a lot of noise.
Through meditation, I’m learning to silence those negative voices. I’m learning to let go of ego. I’m learning to trust that—for the first time in a long time—my life is on the right path.