Self, but NOT Selfish

I can’t begin the story of my healing without telling you what has led me to this point. I say my “self”-healing journey because I am currently working on healing from the inside out using meditation and mindfulness. However, I did not get to this point solely on my own. There have been many coincidences, synchronicities, and serendipitous events that have guided me to my current path and final destination-full health. I believe the universe has been trying to show me the right way for a long time, but I wasn’t taking the time to listen and change my life. Prior to this path, I’ve tried everything from strict diet, supplements, exercise, yoga, physical therapy, acupuncture, cupping, and traditional Western medicine (I had most recently been in touch with The Cleveland clinic about stem cell trials). I will try to touch on my experience with each of these modalities and their advantages and disadvantages in my situation. I want to be very clear that I am solely sharing MY experience and not giving medical advice to anyone! I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.

Back in March, my husband, Jeremy, received a call from a peripheral friend. I say peripheral because he is not a person we are in contact with regularly. He called to tell Jeremy he had been thinking about us and our situation and had been led to buy us a 9 week-online course he thought would help us. At that point, I was at a loss with my disease. My MS was becoming an unbearable, frustrating, hateful house guest that we were stuck with until the end of time. Jeremy was pretty much assisting me with every aspect of my life at that point-LIKE A BOSS!! (I can’t say enough about my husband and the amazing things he does) Needless to say, we were incredibly touched and grateful for the call and ready to take any help we could get. Along with the online course, which I will go into detail about at a later time, he recommended we watch several Netflix movies. These movies were The Secret and Heal.

The first movie we watched was Heal. A good movie about how your thoughts and emotions can effect your health. It contains testimonials of people who have healed themselves, including Dr. Joe Dispenza (he will play a pivotal part in my healing process later). However, it did not touch me spiritually or make me feel like I could change things. A few nights later we watched The Secret. This is a movie that teaches about the law of attraction and that you can get or achieve ANYTHING by putting it into the universe and believing in it with a pure heart. Again, the idea that our thoughts and emotions effect every aspect of our lives. Like I said, the universe had been trying to reach me for a long time, but I was wrapped up in life, kids, work and the constant struggle of living with MS. A friend of ours had lent us the DVD a few years before and we had watched it, but I remember thinking it seemed pretty “hokey” sounding at the time. This night (April 23rd to be exact), it hit me like a freight train as I watched. There are 3 rules to the secret:

1. Ask-the universe for what you want
2. Believe-with unwavering faith that what you want is coming to you
3. Receive-with gratitude

I realized that it was the believe aspect I had been having trouble with. I was so excited! I finally understood that blind faith is necessary for the ultimate transformation. I called my girlfriend who had lent me the movie previously and said, “I get it!!” I was electrified, and felt like I finally understood what had been in my face all along. I finally believed that I could change my life and cure my MS. It was the first time in a very long time that I had hope again. And that was the beginning of the beginning.

How It All Began