Holding Still to Stay Safe: My Experience with the Freeze Response

I am not broken because my body feels anxious, tight, or out of control.

My body is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect me.

For most of my life, I didn’t understand what was happening inside of me. I just knew I felt… tense. Tight. Like I was holding on for dear life. I used to say that all the time—“I feel like I’m holding on to something.” And now I know: I was.

Not because I’m weak.
Not because my body is failing me.
But because my nervous system learned, a long time ago, that it had to.

My Healing Journey: Mind, Body, and Awareness

Since being introduced to meditation, mind-body connection work, and the teachings of Dr. Joe Dispenza, something has shifted in me.

For the first time, I feel like I’m actually understanding my body—not fighting it.

And that changed everything.

Because here’s what I’ve come to believe after tons of research and deep inner work:

There is no one-size-fits-all healing protocol.
Especially with something like MS.

We don’t all develop illness for the same reasons. So why would we all heal the same way?

Our symptoms… our patterns… our emotional wiring—these are deeply personal.

And if we’re willing to explore them instead of suppress them, they can become our greatest teachers.

Not here to hurt us.
But to protect us.
To keep us alive.

The Nervous System: Built for Survival, Not Modern Life

Our brains and nervous systems were designed for one primary purpose: safety.

Back when humans were facing real, life-threatening danger, the fight, flight, or freeze response was essential. It kept us alive.

But today?

We’re not being chased by predators.

We’re dealing with emails, bills, expectations, pressure, relationships—and yet our bodies respond the same way as if our life is at risk.

That’s where the disconnect happens.

A dysregulated nervous system doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.
It means your body doesn’t feel safe.

And that matters more than we realize.

Understanding What’s Happening in the Body

The autonomic nervous system has two main branches:

Sympathetic (Fight or Flight):
This is your activation mode. Your heart races, your breathing quickens, your body prepares for action. It’s survival energy.

Parasympathetic (Rest and Digest):
This is where healing happens. Your body slows down, digests, repairs, and restores.

And then there’s the one I didn’t understand for most of my life:

Freeze.

The freeze response happens when the body feels overwhelmed—when fighting or fleeing doesn’t feel possible. So instead, it shuts down.

Still. Tight. Immobile.

That’s me.

That has always been me.

When I’m stressed, I don’t rise to the occasion—I freeze. My muscles tighten, my mind blanks, and I feel like I can’t move forward.

For years I judged that.

Now I understand it.

Rewiring Safety Instead of Forcing Change

Here’s something that changed everything for me:

Your nervous system doesn’t learn safety through logic. It learns through experience.

You can know you’re safe and still feel completely unsafe in your body.

That’s because healing doesn’t happen through thinking—it happens through feeling.

Through repetition.
Through presence.
Through showing your body, again and again:
“We’re okay now.”

That’s where mindfulness comes in.

Not as a way to “fix” anxiety…
But as a way to build a new relationship with it.

What Mindfulness Really Looks Like

It’s not about sitting still for an hour.

It’s small moments.

Feeling your feet on the ground.
Placing your hand on your chest and breathing.
Noticing the light in the room.

Simple things that gently bring you back to the present moment—because presence is where safety lives.

Some tools that have helped me:

Breathwork and meditation
Observing my thoughts moment by moment
Rewiring emotional patterns (like with Emotion Code work)
Allowing instead of forcing
Asking myself what I need instead of pushing through

Not perfectly. Just consistently.

A Powerful Shift: From Control to Safety

For so long, I thought I needed to control everything to feel safe.

Now I see the truth:

I don’t need more control. I need more safety.

So instead of asking:
“How do I make myself do this?”

I ask:
“What would help me feel safe enough to take one step?”

That question softens everything.

It turns pressure into partnership.
Force into understanding.
Fear into curiosity.

You Are Not the Problem

If you feel stuck… frozen… overwhelmed…

It’s not because you’re failing.

It’s because part of you is trying to protect you.

And maybe—just maybe—what you need isn’t more discipline, more pressure, or more “fixing”…

But more compassion.

More listening.
More space.
More safety.

My Truth About Healing

I truly believe this:

We are not meant to be defined by other people’s opinions, diagnoses, or limitations.

The only voice that ultimately matters is your own.

Stop people-pleasing—it will never lead you to freedom.
Stop forcing yourself into someone else’s version of healing.

You are not perfect.
But you are perfectly imperfect.

And if you believe in God like I do—then you know this:

God doesn’t make mistakes.

Everything—yes, everything—has a purpose.

Even this.

Especially this.

A Gentle Invitation

Before you move on, pause for a moment.

Notice one place in your life where you tend to push yourself… override yourself… ignore what your body is telling you.

And ask:

“What would support look like right now?”

You don’t need to solve anything.

Just asking begins the shift.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need more pressure.

You need a safer place to begin.

And that place isn’t somewhere outside of you…

It’s something you build, moment by moment, within yourself.

And I truly believe this:

You’re already on your way.